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Putting Your Relationship Back on Rails

From Parthasarathy Rengaswami

Can an affair ever be GOOD for your marriage? BEL MOONEY ..

If your relationship has gone sour for whatever reason, you may like to put it back on the rails. The problem with restoring a relationship is that very often, the restoration turns out to be a quick-fix job that won’t last long. This can happen in many cases irrespective of what caused the strains in the relationship.

Let us say that you have decided to put your relationship with your spouse back in position after your spouse had had an affair. Your spouse might have felt remorseful and got back with you in all earnestness. You might also have forgiven their infidelity and wholeheartedly accepted them back into the relationship.

The real challenge of keeping your marriage strong starts here. You have the twin tasks of keeping out the negativities arising from the past bitterness and injecting positive inputs into the relationship to make it strong and long lasting. This will involve taking a break from the past and beginning to do things in new ways. Trying to be pleasant and genial may sometimes look artificial. While any gesture from your spouse may appear to be an attempt to travel the extra mile to make up for their act of infidelity, any act of kindness on your part may look like careful attempts to ensure that your spouse is not hurt even inadvertently.

In order to keep your relationship strong, you have to do things differently, yet in ways that won’t sound artificial. Here are four powerful suggestions you will find useful in strengthening a relationship that has been restored after a break up.

Share
Make it a point to share everything with your spouse. Share your joys, sorrows, problems, concerns, and other things. Sharing the trivial experiences that cheered you a little and those that upset you slightly along with sharing the important and serious things will bring about an intimacy between you two, an intimacy that will keep your relationship bonded strongly.

Celebrate
Look out for occasions to celebrate. Celebrate them in a big way. Take the initiative. If you begin to celebrate even small successes of your spouse like their getting an increment or a message of appreciation from their employer, your spouse will feel closer to you. The goodwill you create through such gestures can go a long way in strengthening the relationship.

Admit your mistakes and apologize for your lapses
Expressing regret for your lapses, far from making you feel humiliated will make you look dignified and graceful. If false pride sabotaged your relationship in the past, cultivated humility could help your relationship grow stronger.

Avoid displaying a patronizing attitude
In your attempt to make your spouse feel better, you may be acting in a patronizing way, making them feel weak in the process. Act the same way you would if there had been no affair. Doing and saying things in a natural way will make your spouse feel good about themselves.

Putting your relationship back on track is a tricky job. But little gestures on your part will do the trick and make your relationship grow strong.

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God Bless you!

About Funom Makama

A Medical Practitioner, writer, poet, Published Author and Novelist. I love traveling, Football and Music. I am also the proud owner of this site. Welcome to my humble abode, feel at home and navigate high level contents that will not only enrich and educate you but also entertain you. Have fun!

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